Remembering 29th October 1960

I have posted this entry on my memoirs blog about my sister who passed away this day in 1960.

Nalini on her wedding day in Kottayam, 1959.

Remembering my sister. Nalini

Nalini 1937

16th September 2023 would have been the 76 th birthday of my elder sister, Nalini. She passed away on October 29th 1960’from tetanus.

In my menoirs I have covered her life.

Nalini in London with Queen Mother Mary. 1960

Nalini was a beautiful person and I miss her dearly.

A rude awakening....

Annikki went to her Seventh Day Adventist Church in Byculla.

I had about an hour to spare. I decided to visit the grave of my elder sister, Nalini, something I had not been to see since the gravestone was laid there in early 1961.

My taxi driver found the cemetery after asking around a bit. The cemetery office was well managed and run. The office was open. The officers quickly found the location of Nalini's grave on paper. But when the guy took me out, could not find the grave.

We returned to the office to recheck. First, he told me that probably the plot may have been purchased, suggesting that someone else may have been buried over her grave. Then he said that no tombstone had been laid.

I assured him that I was there when she was buried and also I had been there when the tombstone was laid.

He then handed me over to another cemetery worker,. This gentleman took me to another part of the cemetery - just 10 metres from the office. At first, he too could not locate the grave. But suddenly, I recognised the large tombstone my parents had laid for their daughter, my sister.

As I stood in silence, something that had never struck me before, hit me right between the eyes - Nalini had been just 23 when she had died, not even in the prime of her adult life.

I wept at this thought as I had always considered Nalini as my elder sister, the mature one, the old one. And she had always been that to me.

To think that here was I, at an age of 66, looking down at my sister's grave some 49 years after her passing. It was a shock to me just to think she had been just 23 years old when she had left us.

I remember much talk in our home that she would soon be too old to get married. The rush had been on to find her a husband.

And what tragedy had followed.

As the marble grave was raised, almost to knee height on a granite slab, it was not dirty of filthy like many around it at ground level. I thanked my parents for their foresight, something which had not been given by my siblings when they planned the graves of my parents.

Is it a life of coincidences?

Yesterday, I had an email from someone in the USA asking whether I could recall an M. Varghese who had studied and finished from Bishop Cotton’s School in Bangalore in 1956. As I had left when I had completed the IVth Standard in 1953, I did not recall that name.

I replied to the gentleman that maybe he could contact Aditya Sondhi, the school historian (in my eyes), or my cousin, Anand Matthan, who had finished school in 1955. Or, maybe he was thinking of my cousin Varghese Matthan, who would have completed school in 1956 had he not left to join Madras Christian College School in 1952.

In passing, I asked the Old Cottonian whether he was any relation to the fabulous cricketer of that time who used to play for the school. I had watched him many a time, sitting on the stone parapet around the school ground, plucking and eating the fresh bamboo sprouts that lined the first eleven pitch.

I quickly had a reply from him, thanking me for my efforts and that Aditya had provided him with loads of material. Further, he was indeed the cricketer that I was thinking about. And his father had been a friend of my father.

Further, he added, that was I not the same person who lived opposite St. Joseph's College Hostel and who had a quiet shy sister, Nalini, who, obviously had been the heartthrob for many of the St. Josephites - and he listed a few of them to me.

He was thinking that as he had lived just around the corner from where I had, maybe we had played tennis ball cricket together. We did have a team but I do not recall this outstanding young cricketer of our time sharing the field with the likes of me and our rag-a-muffin cricketing friends!

In passing he paid me a nice compliment which I will treasure. He wrote:

You are a Renaissance type of an individual ( passion, vision, empathy & creativity ) & continue your quest of keeping us informed.

Sadly, I am not a blogger about Cottonians as I was there too short a time to write about for 10 to 15 years nostalgically. I do wish there was someone doing just that!

It is indeed a very small world . As I am having a bit of a discussion on Facebook with some Home Educationists, I wondered how all this would fit in with their thinking of isolating the children from the real world of childhood, daily interaction with many tens of children, and the most important cry of our Mumbai School "School First, House Next, Self Last".

But that is another subject that maybe I will take up later.

Suffice to say that when I returned back to the Guest House, my thoughts were on my sister, a shy pretty girl, married at the age of 22 (because many thought otherwise she would be too old to get married), childbirth at 23 and followed by her tragic demise 15 days later of tetanus. Thoughts kept flooding back to my mind and I wondered what a difference life would have been if she had been around.

Finally, in passing, as nostalgia is on my mind. I thought I would share with you a photograph of my family dating back to the early 1980s.



Much water has passed under this bridge!

Obituary: Husband of Nalini Punnose (née Patil)

In the 50's and 60's we had a wonderful teacher in the girl's school by the name of Nalini Patil. She married an officer in the Railways, Mr. M. G. Punnose.

Today, thanks to 64ers Rajiv Ved and Deepak Deshpande, I heard of the sad demise of Mr. Punnose. (Obituary Notice below from The Times of India.)



Our family knew the Punnose family very well. Nalini was a close friend of my mom and dad. In Bombay, she used to attend the St. Thomas Cathedral and, if I remember right, Mr. Punnose also attended the same church where several of us, 59er David Colaco and his brother, the late 58er Michael Colaco, the Vaney brothers (49er Peter, 57er Herbert), 57er Aubrey Ballantine, teachers Willie Shiri and Willie Patel, were taught to sing a tune under the strict supervision of our choir master, the late Charles Velu.

In Bangalore, Nalini used to attend St. Mark's Cathedral, the church where I used to go to Sunday School in the early 50s. My mom and dad were both members of this church in Bangalore.

I convey our deepest personal condolences, and also from all Cathedralites, to Nalini and her family. They will remain in our prayers.

The seamier side of my life

Yesterday, I told you of my first love - my Miss Universe who has been at my side for 44 years and as my partner for 41 years.

But alas, man is weak, and there have been several women, besides my wife, who have shaped my life.

My latest love affair is just 9 days old, and is a girl who has not yet got a name. She is a great bundle of joy. I call her "Kochmol", which means "Little Girl".

She is the latest addition to our family, born on Sunday, the 20th of January (9 days ago) here in Oulu.

Our new granddaughter, whom I am calling Kochmol,
till her parents decide on a name for her!

She joins a beautiful young lady, Asha, who has been a great joy in my life for the last 10 and a half years.


Asha in 1998 (Photo by Susanna).


Asha in Newcastle in 2008. (Photo by Susanna.)

Asha entered my life 10 and a half years ago, and there is not a day when I do not think of this beautiful baby who has grown to be a poised young and highly talented lady and, above all, a loving granddaughter.

When I think of my grandchildren, I must say that the two ladies, my gorgeous daughters, who have "ruled" my life started as similar beautiful babies:


Susanna 1968.


Joanna 1971.


Joanna 1989.


Susanna 2006.

Although one of them describes me as an "anarchist hippie" and the other as a "workaholic", I still love both of them dearly. If they love me even 10% of how much I love them, they remain the apples in my eyes. (Fact: I have not ever been and am not an anarchist, hippie or a workaholic!)


Nalini as a baby in 1938.


Nalini with the British Queen Mother in 1960,
at the Opening of the new wing YMCA in Fitzroy Square, London,
just a few months before her demise.

Another lady, who has by her very absence, been a lasting influence on my life is my late elder sister, Nalini, who died after childbirth in 1960. I know her spirit in my heart has been watching and looking after me all through these last 48 years.

The lady who has most influenced my life was one so simple and kind and yet so powerful that no one realised her shrewdness. An only daughter and the only sister to 8 brothers who loved their sister dearly, she held them together to control them to build the huge family publishing and industrial empire from the time her parents passed away in the early 1950s till her own demise in 2000.


Ammachi in 1934 when she graduated from
the Women's Christian College, Madras.


Ammachi with her dog, Tippu, in 1976,
after returning to Bangalore.

My mother, Ammachi, inherited her kindness and gentleness from her mother, Valliammachi, my grandmother, and her shrewdness and business acumen were from her father, the late K. C. Mammen Mappillai.



One personal example will show you the nature of my maternal grandmother.

In 1950, when we were visiting Kottayam, the family of uncles and cousins, several tens of us, decided to go on a trip to Periyar, the Elephant Sanctuary. The day before, I ate too many jackfruit causing me severe colic pains. I was really ill. It was decided by the powers at the top that I should be left behind as it would be too dangerous to take me on such a long trip.

I was heartbroken as only a child of 7 could be. I was left in the custody of Vallammachi. I was feeling as fine, but was really feeling emotionally upset. Valliammachi had been instructed to keep me on a total light liquids diet.

In Kottayam, in her home, such an atrocity was just not possible.

Within minutes of the family members leaving for the elephant sanctuary, I was treated like a little Prince and given every delicacy she could summon, including a healthy dose of the offending jackfruit which had caused the colic problem initially.

I could not have had a better day in my life than that in the company of such a grand lady!

And this remained a secret between us till today!



The last lady who played an immense effect on my life was my paternal grandmother. A tiny woman, no one would have suspected the powerhouse that she was.

She brought up her 10 children, 5 boys and 5 girls with a whip hand to make all of them outstanding students and the 5 boys became top professionals during their life time. (One was a senior administrator in the Mysore Government, the second headed Tata Consultancy Engineering Services, another worked for the Shri Ram Group as their senior Administrator, one headed various sections of Indian Railways and also the Intergral Coach Factory in Perambur, and the last ended his career as the Chairman of the Life Insurance Corporation of India!

As the wife of one of the Mysore Maharaja's senior administrative officers, she was formal enough to run her household in accordance to all the rules laid down by the aristocracy. She ruled her dining table with such firmness that children knew they were children to be seen and not heard.

Yet she was a mellow as a lamb outside of her hours of duty. In her later years she was a loving character who could not have enough of the company of her grandchildren. She outlived her famous husband, Dewan Bahadur Mysore Matthan by over 20 years.

During that time she was respected and adored by all her grandchildren.

My love affairs with these 9 women are what made me what I am TODAY:

They say that behind every man is a woman.

I am proud to say that behind this poor human being there have been 9 outstandingly great ladies.

Remembering two important people in my life

Last night, as the clock ticked past midnight, Annikki and I remembered two people, both of whom Annikki did not have the chance to know as they passed away before we met. But she knew them through me and others whom she had met in later life.



Today is the 130th birth centenary of Dewan Bahadur Kuriyan Matthan, also known as Mysore Matthan, my paternal grandfather. He is survived by four of his 11 children, Mrs. T. Thomas (Elizabeth, Chinchaya, my godmother, standing second from left), Mr. Jacob Matthan (Kochuppapen, the youngest son who at his retirement was the Chairman of the Life Insurance Corporation, standing on far right) and the two youngest children, Mrs. M. V, Kurian (Grace, Accahi, sitting far right) and Mrs. G. T. Verghese (Susan, Papachi, sitting third from right). All of the surviving members, including grandson George Matthan Jr.. sitting on the floor, now reside in Bangalore, although Accachi does spend time with her daughter in Ernakulam.

At one point of my life, Annikki and I did live in Mandya District in Karnataka. It was only then that I discovered how Mysore Matthan was loved by so many people in that part of Karnataka, as he had changed the lives of many people by his wisdom and concern for the ordinary people that he had governed when he was an Administrator in the service of the Mysore Maharaja.

The second person that I remember today is my elder sister, Nalini, who tragically passed away on this day 47 years ago.

Nalini, as a baby - with the beautiful smile
that she carried through her entire life.

I remember, vividly, how she returned to India to have her baby in Bombay. I was at the Santa Cruz airport to receive her, as I was on holiday from college in Delhi.

It was a wonderful holiday, as it included a family weekend of living in a shack in Juhu Beach, Bombay, as my mother's brother's family, Mr. K. M. Philip (Peelukuttychayan, former World Y. M. C. A. President and now 95 and still active), his wife, Chinnamakochamma, and children, Sen and Suresh, were also with us.

During that wonderful weekend where we swam in the sea, played games on the beach, played cards in the shack, and in general had a really great time, we enjoyed having my sister back from her time in England where she had been living with her husband.

Nalini, although eight months pregnant, was so full of life. She was really close to all of us that weekend.

But then, it was time for Suresh and me to return to College. Despite her condition, Nalini insisted on coming to the station to see us off on the Air-Conditioned Deluxe train. She met all my other friends who were travelling with us and walked the long walk down thee Bombay Central Station platform to say goodbye at the door of our compartment. She stayed there to wave goodbye to us as the train pulled away.

Just 2 weeks later, the news of the birth of my first nephew was relayed to me in Delhi. I was able to ring the hospital and speak with her at the joy of the arrival, albeit, just for less than 3 minutes.

But that joy did not last for long as just 4 days later I was told that I should return to Bombay as Nalini had a problem. As I flew from Delhi to Bombay I was told that she had contracted tetanus, a fatal infection, especially in her weak state after childbirth.

When I reached Bombay and went directly to the hospital, she was already in deep sedation as the lock jaw was excruciatingly painful and the body would be put into spasms, which were so strong it could crack the spine.

Although under sedation, she knew when family members were in the room, as when I clasped her hand, she reacted almost immediately to tell me that she knew that I was there.

The next 10 days were nightmarish, as each day we hoped for better news, but each day the news was not good. There were no signs of any improvement and the pain was getting worse by the hour, till at one point we all prayed that God relieve her of this terrible suffering.

And on 29th October 1960, the end came and we all were deeply moved by the passing of a wonderful human being, my dearly beloved sister, who had meant so much to me as also many other people.

The funeral was the next day. Her husband had arrived from the UK. When we said goodbye to Nalini at the Sewri Cemetery, there were tears streaming on faces the many tens of mourners who were there, which included, besides relatives, many of her dear friends from her college days in Bombay and their families, all of whom had been touched by the gentleness and kindness of this human being.

So today, I honour, with a feeling of humbleness, these two wonderful people on this our blog.