25 years on

Posted on my Jacob's Blog and the Stephanian Kooler Talk Blog.

On Tuesday, I went Oulu Airport to receive a friend, a very dear friend. In fact, my very best friend when I was in College between 1960 and 1963. He was my inseparable friend of those years.

Ajay arrives in Oulu.

Ajay Verma did Mathematics Honours between 1960 and 1963. Like me, he lived in Mukerji Court. There was only one Mukerji Building block those days. He was in T Block while I was in S Block. We went together for breakfast and dinner. Spent the evening hours after college together going for some scrambled egg on toast for tea and later, after dinner again went to the Cafe to have coffee and a smoke.

We played table tennis together in the JCR or played chess, draughts (checkers) or bridge. He was my bridge partner and together we almost won the first JCR Bridge Championship, except to beaten on the very last hand by the twins, the Rai brothers, Suraj and Chander, who bid an unbelievable 7 spades against our bid of 7 clubs and made that hand. Only the intertwined thinking of identical twins snatched certain victory out of our hands!

Ajay came to College from Pondicherry, where his mother lived in the Arubindo Village. He completed his pre-university from Loyala College, Madras before joining College, although he would have preferred to do engineering at one of the IITs.

Ajay left college and joined the Indian Army by going to the Officer School at Dehra Dun. From there he went into the artillery at Deolali near Nasik and then to Cooch Behar in West Bengal. He was sent to the front line in the war against Pakistan and had the narrowest of escapes when the shelter he was in was blown up just a couple of minutes after he had stepped outside for a cigarette. (So I hardly blame him for continuing this habit!)

He left the army after the war and joined Bata's as a trainee and worked in Calcutta and Faridabad. Ajay did not see much future then and set off to Canada to make his fortune. He stopped at Copenhagen, met his life partner, Else, and settled down in Lund, Sweden. He started work in the Hotel industry and worked for SAS Hotels and then in Airline catering till he finished his career with a series of jobs in SAS Radisson, ending at the Beijing hotel till his retirement late last year. He now consults but is enjoying himself in retirement dabbling in the Swedish stock exchange, more for fun than profit.

He has bought an apartment in Pondicherry and is off in a few days to winter there, away fron the dark and cold winters in Scandinavia. Unfortunately, before he could enjoy his time there, he got news last Friday that his 91 year old mother had passed away.


Ajay talks to Else in Lund.

In his "busy" travel schedule, he has done 15 long haul flights this year, he took a few days off to drop in on Annikki and me. I was wild with him when he told me that when we were meeting after 25 years, he was off in just 3 days. But things were happening in Lund, so I had to let him go.


Ajay sees a windy blustery autumn sunset in Oulu.


Annikki at the Nallikari beach.


Ajay at a windy Nallikari.

During the time in Oulu we had a rip roaring time that only dear friends can enjoy together. We shared news about our past lives and careers, laughed incessantly at all our past pranks, I showed him my small town and with Annikki enjoyed the bitterly cold wind and amazing autumn sunset of the Oulu Nallikari beach.

Like me, he is an early riser, being up ay 5 am, so we enjoyed long days together. It was with great sadness that I bid farewell to him on Friday morning and it was as if a void had descended on Kampitie after his departure.


It is already time for Ajay to leave.

The real spirit of Stephania prevailed in our residence for the short time he was here, urging me to give serious thought to organising a reunion of 1960-1963 Stephanians in Delhi in 2009, when Annikki and I are scheduled to make our next visit to India.

What does it feel like....

...when you get a phone call, and on the line is your very very best friend with whom you have not spoken or heard of for the last 24 years?

(Cross-posted on my Kooler Talk Blog.)

Today, just before 10 am Finnish time, I got a call, from China. Even before the person identified himself, I knew it was Ajay!

Ajay Verma was in St. Stephen's College the same time I was. He was doing Mathematics Honours and I was doing General Science.

We were virtually inseperable. We spent hours together, drinking coffee, smoking, talking, joking, playing tricks on others, playing table tennis together, playing basketball (in which Ajay was superb).

When I went for my holidays to Bombay, I waited to get back to Delhi and college to meet my very dear friends - Ajay and Niranjan (who was a couple of years senior to us and was doing English Honours).

Niranjan was an East African from Tanazia but of Indian origin.

The three of us got the group nickname Heap - Little Heap, Middle Heap and Big Heap, the last being me.

After college I went to London to study.



Ajay joined the Indian Army and Niranjan joined the Indian Foreign Service.

(Niranjan became an Indian Citizen and served as Indian Ambassador in many places including te Vatican and Switzerland. He appears to be is still doing what we three specialised in doing - exposing scandals (May 2006): "How Rajiv’s India was banned".

When I returned, after my studies, to India, I met up with Ajay who related why he finally left the Indian Army.

At the time of one of the stupid Indian - Pakistani wars, he was serving on the frontline. One evening, when he was in a bunker, he decided to go out to smoke a cigarette. No sooner had he taken a couple of puffs, a shell landed on the bunker. He was the sole survivor.

That experience made him leave the army. He got a job in the Bata Shoe Company and he served in Mathura and Calcutta, but he got fed up of shoes (who wouldn't) and decided he would try his luck abroad.

He landed in Copenhagen without a dime in his pocket. But being the survivor that he is, he soon established himself and worked in the hotel industry, working long hours, earning the language and becoming a master of this trade.

Ajay and Else with Sita and Robin.
Youngest girl, Maya was not born then.

Then he met a beautiful Danish girl, Else, and they got married. They moved to a small town in Sweden, Lund, near to Malmo, which is just across the narrow straits that separates Denmark from Sweden.

Ajay set up a small import company and started to market Indian garments and handicrafts. It was tough going. That is when I visited him and met Else and two of their children, Sita and Robin.


Little Sita, was at one time a replica
of our younger daughter, Joanna.

When I was setting up a business in India, Ajay and some of his friends invested a small amount in the company.

But then we lost contact after his visit to see me in 1982.

When I moved with Annikki to Oulu in 1984 I tried on several occasions to try to contact Ajay, but to no avail. On one journey to England by bus from Oulu, I tried to get in touch with him when we passed through Malmo.

But there was no sign of Ajay and his SITA boutique in Malmo.

Annikki and I often thought of my good friend. I used to search the internet regularly, using Google, to see if I could spot him anywhere.

Then a few weeks ago he surfaced on my Kooler Talk Blog with a message. As messages posted on my blog are usually labelled Anonymous, there was no link to get back to him.

So I posted a pleading entry, asking him to contact me.

Ajay tried, using the email address in my profile - which unfortunately I had not changed. It was still showing my dead domain name and the old email address.

So, all his correspondence bounced.

Today, he found his old diary where the Finnish telephone number of my in-laws of the 70s was listed.

Ajay thought of trying it.

I had just come home as I had a busy schedule planned for the day.

I knew it was Ajay after I heard him say a couple of words, a much matured with Ajay, but with the same inflexions and the same humour that endeared him to me over 45 years ago.

We talked till he had to get back to work - and during the time we exchanged emails and got our contacts all correct.

Then he rang again and we talked and talked till Annikki also appeared and she too was thrilled to get news of Ajay.

Annikki knows that there is no one more in my mind than Ajay. The happiness of our telephonic reunion was infectious to her.



Ajay is the Manager of the Radisson SAS Hotel in Beijing, China. It is his second stint at the hotel as he was there when it was started in 1992. He has served in various locations of Radisson including Istanbul.

Now, in December, he will retire and return to Lund where he has bought a small piece of land where he may do some farming.

He gave me news of his mother who lives in the Pondicherry Ashram with his sister. She is now 90 years old. Ajay also updated me about their children and one grandchild! (Ajay, your kids have some catching up to do! We have three.)

Today has been one of the happiest days of my life to be reunited with someone I thought was lost forever. Such joy is unsurpassable.

I want all of you to know that it is such an emotional issue that I am glad that I started these web pages and blogs over 10 years ago - just to feel this emotion that I felt today.

It is all of you that have helped me keep these web pages alive through all these years - and now I feel I can redouble my efforts so that others can find their loved ones and share in that depth of feeling that I experienced today.

We will be having our personal reunion before Christmas 2006 - of that I am sure!