Remembering our loved ones

 Dateline 28th November 2023

(Posted on Jacob's Blog, Seventh Heaven Blog for Cathedralites and Kooler Talk (Web Version) Blog for St. Stephen's College alumni.

Cathedral & John Connon School 59ers have lost many of our ones in the last few years. 

Here is a partial list of those from our 2969class who have passed on. 

(I do not have any information about our lady classmates except dear Farhana. I hope someone will update me on this.)

Ashok Ruia

Bala Parasursman

Dossu Pagdiwalla

Fali Dhondy

Farhana (Kably) Poonawala

Farukh Kanga

Flicky Shroff

Hasnain Chinwala

Indrajit Shah

Jacob Eapen 

Jack Haskell

 Jaswant Ghatge

Kurshed Balsata

Michael Colaco

Murali Balani

Naubir Mohindar

Pradeep Bhakar

Prem Goel

Ramesh Mirchandani

Virat Gidwani

Trevor Newnes

I have deliberately left out from this list, one of our dearest, who was tragically lost  15 years ago, Ashok Kapur.

59erGolden Reunion Directory

Our Mumbai 59ers met as a memoriam to Ashok

At our 2009 Golden  Reunion of 59ers,  Annikki and I dedicated our Reunion Directory to Ashok with these pages:

But besides Ashok, we lost many others during those fateful days, which has been brought to mind by Rajiv Bhatia on his Facebook page.

26/11

Remembering the late - Ajit & Monica Chhabria, Sunil & Reshma Parikh, Sanjay & Rita Agarwal, Rohinton Maloo, Mohit Harjani, Lavina Harjani, Anand Bhatt, Pankaj Shah, Vishnidas-Nilam-Gunjan Narang, Neeti-Uday-Samar-Kang, Rupinder Randhawa, Ashok Kamte, Hemant Karkare, Vijay Salaskar, Tukaram Omble

I also remember one of my other alumni from St. Stephen’s College with this post from our alumni Facebook page. 

None other than the heroic Ashok Kamte:

Ashish Joshi , the Moderator of our alumni Facebook   page posted this.

LEST WE FORGET

This is what my friend & college senior, Gary (Justice Anupinder Grewal), wrote in the memory of late Ashok Kamte (Gary's batchmate) a brilliant police officer who attained martyrdom on 26/11. Late Kamte was a friend & one year senior to me in the College .

ASHOK KAMTE

I have been attending the annual St. Stephen's College, Reunion very frequently ever since I passed out of college in 1987. However, this year on 14th December, it was drastically different as it turned into memorial service for Ashok Kamte and I was entrusted the painful task of paying tribute to Ashok. 

It was a tragic personal loss as besides being my classmate in college and a friend, I had the privilege of living with Ashok and his family at his mother’s Flat in Hira Mahal on the Amrita Shergill Marg for about year while studying law. 

Ashok had joined us at St. Stephen's College for his Post Graduation after he had Graduated from St. Xavier’s College, Bombay. What stood him apart from the rest of the Stephanians was the enormity of his physical stature, which alongwith his quest for academic excellence was a rather unique combination. What surprised many was why is the National Power Lifting Champion pursuing Post Graduation at St. Stephen's. There is no preference for sports persons for admission in M.A. Little did they realize then that Ashok always strove for excellence, whether in the classroom or the playing field. He had single minded commitment to succeed. He was very happy when he was selected to the I.P.S. He used to say that he was meant for action and disliked other civil services for their bureaucratic file work.

While training for the Power Lifting Championship, he would not compromise on his diet. As his mother would not allow him to have more than two eggs, due to its high cholesterol content he would buy a dozen eggs from the market, cook and eat them at his neighbour's house. He had broken three national records in Power Lifting and won half a dozen Gold and Silver Medals. He had also won the Bronze Medal in Junior World Power Lifting Championship. Power Lifting is one of the toughest sport and Ashok would train for hours in complete solitude. Despite his powerful build, he was extremely agile and could sprint quite fast. Besides his love for swimming and squash he would generate amazing pace and bounce while bowling on the rather placid College Cricket pitch at Morigate. He had played an important role in the victory of our team. 

Ashok was proud of the fact that he had the blood of two Martial Races the Maratha’s and the Sikhs. While his father is a retired Colonel settled in Pune, his grand-father was in the Imperial Police. His mother Mrs. Paramjit Kamte,, who now lives in Gulmohar Park is from the well known Bawa Family of Goindwal Sahib and is grand-daughter of Late Bawa Budh Singh of the Indian Service of Engineers. Bawa Budh Singh was the 14th descendent of the Third Sikh Guru, Guru Amar Dass. When I called on Mrs. Kamte, she said that though she is proud of the fact that Ashok has become a National Hero yet at times she cannot comprehend that he is no more. He was the only male member in the family whom she could look forward in times of need. He had perhaps inherited his very fair features from his maternal grandmother Mrs.Surinder Bawa (maiden name Violet) an English Lady. His sister, Sharmila, a well known model and a ballet dancer, now runs her famous Dance Academy in Dubai. His wife, Vinita, stays at Pune alongwith his sons, Rahul and Arjun. Besides serving the U.N. Force in Bosnia, Ashok had also trained in Punjab for some time. 

Ashok was known for his high integrity and efficiency which was evident in his earlier stints in Maharashtra especially in Solapur, where he had brought an inflammable communal situation under control within a few hours. I had spoken to Ashok sometime back when as Commissioner of Police, Solapur, was in the news for bringing to book the local M.L.A who was flouting the law for noise pollution. Ashok had personally gone and arrested the M.L.A. from his residence at mid-night after the M.L.A. had earlier roughed up police officials. I had asked him whether he had really beaten up the M.L.A. He replied that if he had done so, the man would not have survived as though he no longer competed in power lifting but maintained regular exercise regime. It was his conscientiousness, patriotism and devotion to duty which made him the target of the terrorist attack at Mumbai. He was the Additional Commissioner, (East) and even though the area around the Cama Hospital(South) did not fall within his jurisdiction, he had reached there as he had undergone specialized training to handle terrorism and hostage situation. He would lead from the front and was not the kind to send subordinates to do risky jobs. He lived for others and had a proactive approach. He made the supreme sacrifice and attained martyrdom in the battle field and made his family, friends and the nation proud. "

Anupinder Grewal

Additional Advocate General, Punjab (Now Judge, Punjab High Court)

Let us each keep a moment’s silence, wherever we are, to honour of all our alumni. Founder’s Day for the school was November 14th. That for our college is 7th December. 

May all these dear ones friends 

Rest In Peace.

I was really chuffed...

My Miss Universe 

Quite unknown to my better half, I have been blogging her attributes at various junctures. She, however, does not look at what I post! She has never even seen the tribute I posted for her on her 60th birthday - 6 years ago!

So when someone saw what she meant to me, and realised that I was not doing it to gain her affection, I was greatly chuffed when the comment was so very positive. Yes, I am deeply in love with this grand lady who has given her life for our grandchildren, children and me. She has been through hell-fire and I am a witness to that. But her love, faith and charity were so strong that it surpassed all obstacles - and there were many!

Of course, she was very active when we launched Findians Briefings. She was my source for local information. She scanned the newspapers - the Helsinki and Oulu papers and gave me a deep insight into how Finland really works.

The popularity of our newsletter which became a fortnightly web magazine was in no small measure due to her insight into Finnish life and culture viewed as a Finn who was a non-Finn!

Now we are entering in a new phase in our life. Annikki's life phases are exciting and each passing day reveals a new dimension in her thinking. So watch out for some really interesting news very soon!

A tribute to my mother

On daughter Joanna's Facebook Photo Album there is a picture of our four kids with their grandmother, my mother. It bears the caption:

"I think this was taken just before or after my cousin's wedding, when we were already living in Finland and my elder bro in England. Ammachi was the loveliest grandmother u could ever hope for - much like my Dad is to his grandkids."

Joanna pays me a wonderful tribute by equating me and my attitude to our grandkids with that of my mother to hers.

This to me is one of the greatest compliments that could be paid to me, especially as Joanna knows very little about my personal relationship with my mother.

Not once, and I repeat, not once in my entire life did my mother raise her voice at me, threaten me, scold me, beat me, dishearten me because of bad school results. There was a time, in anger, that I slapped her in her face, figuratively, but yet she only continued to show me the greatest love and affection that a son can receive from his mother. I do not think any other son can say that of their mother.

And she gave her love equally to all her children.

She was there when we were sick, when we were depressed, when we were overjoyed, and always there when we needed some help.

I was only an average student, always coming in the middle ranks in school, being good in some subjects and not so good in others. She played up the good and encouraged me about those I was weak in. I was never afraid to show her my monthly or yearly report cards - and she only had nice things to say to me about them.

I remember, when my brother failed his final B.Sc. exams in Delhi University, (he never did get that Bachelor's degree) she was so concerned about how he felt, and not that he had failed. She tried to encourage him to succeed the next time, saying failures should only help one in future life.

He never did get that degree, but it did teach him never to fool around again when it came to studies. He had wasted three years of his life, and betrayed the trust his mother had put in him! Only he has had to live with that!

Ammachi was there to encourage me in my sports, my acting in school plays, my singing in the church choir, or any other endeavour I undertook. Above all, she trusted me implicitly. I never, and I can say that honestly, I never ever violated her trust in me.

When I was at her bedside 9 years ago, the night before she went into a coma, she was waiting for me to return from a trip to Bangalore. I had found out some rather unsavoury things there about my brother and sister and a nephew, who had done things behind my back to cheat me.

When I told her what I had found out, even as she was going into that coma, she gave me the best advice that I have ever received.

She told me to trust in God and that God would look after me and my family. She told me I should not ask anything from those she knew who had cheated me and my family. She hugged me and sent me to bed.

When I was woken up about 3 hours later, she was entering into a coma.

As I sat by her side for the next couple of days, I wondered whether she knew she was going away to her Lord and Saviour. I prayed with all my heart that she would come out of her coma before I left back for Finland.

God answered my prayers and she regained her full consciousness 48 hours later, on my birthday.

I was able to leave her bedside when she was back in her senses.

She bade me a farewell that I will never forget. She knew that I would never see her alive or dead again, but she told me once again to remember what she had told me that night before she went into her coma.

In the next few months when she was still alive, my brother and sister stopped me from even speaking to her on the phone. They knew that she and I knew the truth and to them that was their catastrophe.

Later events after her death showed me she knew all her children and her eldest grandson, whom she had brought up like one of her own four children, better than we knew ourselves.

What saddened her was that, despite her bringing them up, some of them had become greedy and avaricious, something she just could not understand, as she was just the opposite.

Thank you Joanna for paying me what is the richest compliment I can ever have received from anyone!