Some people do wondrous works to get recognised.
My dear cousin, Kunjumonchayan (Mammen Eapen), son of the late K. M. Eapen (Eapachayan, my godfather) and Kunjattykochamma, has been the opposite. He has proved that by being simple and straightforward, you get the love and respect of your neighbour and that your neighbour is the common man.
Kunjumonchayan at Suchi & Michael’s wedding,
Chennai, December 1999, Copyright Jacob MatthanKunjumonchayan is loved by all the common folk that have crossed his path on a daily basis. The grocery store shopkeeper, the bookstore owner, the drivers, the peons in offices, the coffee-man -
and me.
In our 58 year friendship, I have always had great love and affection for my cousin, because, unlike others he was a great playmate and deeply loving person.
We played together in Kuppaparam, as can be seen from this old photograph (1948-9). I am the one with torn shorts standing in front of Kunjumonchayan. Although I was the mischievous one, Kunjumonchayan always kept me out of serious trouble!! He had a special way of looking at me over his rimmed glasses, and wag his head to say "SUSHIL"!!
Kunjumonchayan and me in KuppaparamWe rowed, we fished, we swam - we romped, we had fun as happy children. What wonderful days they were.
I relive those days many times when I am trapped inside the cold and frozen Arctic winter. I share these happy times with my grandson, Samuel, as I tell him true life stories about our happy childhood days in Bangalore, Mysore, Kottayam, Kuppaparam, Madras, Bombay. And in those our dear Kunjumonchayan features many many a time. Just last Friday, Samuel rang me to say that he was bored and he wanted to listen to these stories from my past childhood!!
Later, when Eapachayan, Kunjattykochamma, Marykochamma and Kunjumonchayan lived in 31 Lalbagh Road, Bangalore, we moved into 33 Lalbagh Road.
Kunjumonchayan and I became fast friends, climbing the trees, catching dragonflies (and shudder: pulling off their wings - what horrid little boys we were), tadpoles and frogs from the little pond in the garden of 31 Lalbagh Road, tearing out Kunjattykochamma's hair with our constant running in and out of the house. She would give as all sorts of pallahrams (white and black halwa, chooretas...) to eat just to keep us quiet.
The gardens in 31 and 33 were like paradise for us - so many fruit trees, juicy red fleshed guavas, bright purple pomegranates, and just plain TALL trees for climbing - something we, as kids, enjoyed more than anything else. No mother's telling us not to do this or that. Freedom unlimited!!!
And, of course, we were given responsibility - we were authorised to watch the milkman who came with the cow to milk it in front of us in the garden of 31. We had to ensure that he did not add water to the pail to dilute the milk!! The process was that before he started milking, he had to hold the milking can upside down to show us there was no water in the pan. Then he would milk the cow in front of us and we would accompany him to the house when he handed over the pail to Kunjattykochamma. For the life of us we could never figure out how in that process he managed to add a lot of water to the milk!!! Indian magic, no doubt.
We used to play ludo and monopoly in the living room of 31 - in which Marykuttykochamma also joined in. And she was usually the winner. We went to eat Masala Dosais at the India Coffee House in Cubbon Park. And as described in an earlier blog entry, to the Chinese Restaurant on Brigade Road with Varichanappachen as our leader. (Chinese chicken noodle soup, fried rice, American chop suey, sweet and sour pork, ++++...) We came out stuffed.
Kunjumonchayan was not in the same school as me as he used to go to St. Joseph's while I went to Bishop Cotton's. But the common school holidays, Saturdays and Sundays, were great fun times as, besides cricket (which Kunjumonchayan was not very interested in to play), we used to fly kites, play marbles, spin tops - all the things that chilldren of our time loved to do. I used to rush to finish my homework so I could go and play at Eapachayan's house - which would always be permitted by my mother!!
I was very sad when they moved away from Bangalore as Marykochamma could not take the colder winter temperatures of Bangalore because of her asthama. I lost my dear friend.
But, our close friendship, however, has lasted over the years. I miss him dearly here in Oulu.
When I returned to India and settled in Madras, I used to see Kunjumonchayan in the office of Devon Plastics whenever I visited there. Most of my work was in the Devon Plastics factory. If I wanted a sensitive decision on some important matter, it was always through Kunjumonchayan that I used to transmit the information to Eapachayan, who had a difficult task of balancing the rat race between his godson and his daughter's brother-in-law!!
My strategy always worked. Kunjumonchayan always understood the reason I was asking for something. Others did not understand that we had a relationship where we both have great trust in each other.
A few words about Kunjumonchayan's family. Omenakochamma, his wife, is a wonderful person, strong minded, firm, but yet full of fun and joy. She is such good company. She has been a great wife to a great man.
In 1970, when we lived on College Road, Madras, we put our eldest daughter, Susanna, to the kindergarten in Good Shepherd Convent, which was just across the road. One day, when I went to pick her up, I asked the teacher how Susanna was doing.
Susanna, who was then just less than 3 years old, had been especially quick to learn nursery rhymes and was quite garrulous (she hasn't changed :-)!!). The teacher complimented Susanna very much and then she pointed to another sweet little girl who was in the class and said that the two of them were a great pair as they were far far ahead of the rest of the class.
Of course, I knew who that was - it was Omenakochamma's and Kunjumonchayan's elder daughter, Shirin!! Shirin is about 3 months younger than Susanna!!
Many years later, I was chatting with with my nephew Rahul Matthan on one occasion (I think it was at Nandini's wedding in 1995) in Bangalore when he asked me whether I knew my niece, Shilpa. I said I knew her as my niece, but I had not had the chance to really know the little girl as she was really small (about 4 years) when we had left Madras. Rahul told me that she was turning out to be one of the finest lawyers in law school in Bangalore!!
It is great credit to Kunjumonchayan and Omenakochamma that they have turned out two of the finest brains in the Kandathil family, for which I must give full credit to their good parentage.
Greatness is rewarded in many ways.
Our dear Rajen got a Padma Shri for his 25 years of devoted hard work in raising the Malayala Manorama enterprise to its present heights. I would, in parallel, give Kunjumonchayan
my Padma Shri for being a simple and honest individual who is loved by all the simple common people who surround him in daily life!!
Thank you, Kunjumonchayan for being my dear friend for the last 58 years. And Annikki and I join all our cousins, in spirit, who have got together in Chennai to wish you a very very happy birthday.
