On Friday morning I devoted myself to meet my two cousins and their husbands who were my guardians when I was studying at St. Stephen’s College, Delhi.
Mammikochamma and and husband, Kuttachayan, (Mrs. and Wing Commander (rtd.) A. G. Mathews) live in the Defence Officers Colony in Nandambakkam.
I first visited the house where Annikki and I had stayed in 1970-1971 in that colony. It was still lush and beautiful but the grass that Annikki had laid in the midday sun was no longer there.
My cousins were as sprightly as ever, even though they are late 70s and mid eighties. Mammikochamma produced her old albums of photographs, so much so that I vowed to return on my next visit with an efficient scanner and to scan her glorious collection. It is a goldmine of history and something to be treasured. Unfortunately, due to damp, many pictures have been damaged.
Their house is magnificent and designed very cleverly to accommodate children and grandchildren when they come. We laughed over many of our past memories together and they remain so dear to me.
On to my other Delhi guardians. This time I did see Chennai traffic in rush hour. With the rain having cut away almost two lanes on the major roads due to water logging, the traffic still moved, albeit slowly. There was no massive tangle we had witnessed in Bangalore.
We reached Ashwathykochamma and Thambichayan’s (Mrs. & Mr. K. M. Jacob) new house on the Thirvanmuyur outskirts of Chennai to be greeted by them and their daughter-in-law, Mich. Ranjeet and Mich are building a house nearby.
We laughed about how when Annikki had insisted on living on the city outskirts when we lived in Madras, we were scolded by everyone about living away from the city. At that time we were no more than 7 minutes from the city centre! Now the same journey takes between 15 to 30 minutes and no one complains!
We relived our wonderful times in Delhi, where my cousins Suresh and Rajen and myself would go and spend wonderful weekends in their home. It was so tiny but there was space for everyone and the food was glorious. Those were the days, but what is important none of us have forgotten the bond that was created during our childhood years.
When I reached home I got the news that Sashank’s father, Dr. Subramanyam, had invited us as his guest to a concert at the Bharat Sangeet Utsav 2009 to be given by Sashank. Could anything be more wonderful than that. Sashank has been invited many times in the last 25 years when he was a child prodigy, to this festival, the best in Carnatic music, but his international tour schedules never gave him the opportunity to take part. And we were given pride of place to be invited by him to witness his poweress.
Lunch at the Kabul where we tasted some authentic Afghani food, and while Annikki rushed to the shopping Mall City Centre to do some financial mischief, I caught up on my email. She was back in time for us to join Sashank and his father to go to the auditorium.
The performance was spell binding. Sashank and his friends were simply outstanding, and the music was electric. I have never been to a concert of Indian Classic Music, but it was worth every minute. The audience cheered as Sashank asked them what they wanted to hear and rendered each item with a gusto and precision that becomes only a maestro. His young years are not a hindrance. Later in the evening when I asked him how he managed to retain the compositions in his brain, he quickly responded that he had performed with ferocious regularity over the last 25 years, the music was imprinted in his brain.
There was no sheet music in front of any of the artists, but they blended so beautifully that I was amazed at the skill of these artists!
We rushed back home to get dressed and go off to our Kanadthil family dinner at the home of Kunjukochamma (Mrs. K. M. Mammen Mappillai) wife of the late K. M. Mappillai, the founder of MRF Ltd. over 70 years ago. He was my mother’s youngest brother and they were so close that much of his strength was derived from the brother-sister relationship. She had held the family together when it went through many of the major crisis which would have split the family.
Mika, Annikki and I were the first to arrive (Finnish style - on time) and only my aunt was there. It was good to renew our association after 10 long years which had seen the demise of my mother and her husband. She is still the wonderful personality she has been since I attended her wedding in the late 1940s when this home had been our family home. Although modernised it was still a home that generated most pleasant me mores of our past. A fitting place for a family reunion.
Almost everyone of the family of my generation and the one after and their children attended. The only major omissions were my siblings and their spouses. They did not have the courage to show their faces as the hypocrisy and their behaviour as criminals would have not have been missed by all those present. They would have to answer just one question “My father died in 1993 and my mother in 2000. Where are their wills and assets?”
The only inheritance that I received was the magnificent zebra cloth hand-stitched art piece that Annikki had made for my mother and which had hung as a centrepiece in her home for all her life in both Bangalore and Madras. It now hangs in our home.
All the assets of my parents as well as the personal possessions Annikki and myself, and my personal assets which we had had left behind in India, had been carved up between my brother, my sister and my nephew in Australia. I cared a damn as these ill-gotten gains would haunt them through eternity!
The evening, thanks to their absence, was something which I can never forget. The love and affection showed by my cousins, their children and grandchildren who attended, was a tribute to my grandfather and grandmother, whose memory lived in all of those of my generation.
From the Oommen family we had three sisters, Accakuttykochamma, Mammikochamma and Ashwathykochamma and many from the generations after. From the Eapen family we had Kunjumonchayan and also many from the generations after. From the Varghese family, no members from my generation but a grand attendance from the generations after. The Philip family was represented by Senchayan. And from the Mammen Mappillai family, besides our hostess, Vinoo and Arunm and late Ravi’s wife, Meera, and many of the subsequent generations including one who will next August become a member of the family, attended. Two Stephanians in the lot. There was no one from the Cherian, Jacob and Mathew families in Chennai to attend.
The dinner was typical Kerala and was catered by one of the leading restaurant groups in Chennai. The food was superb and the atmosphere was so beautiful. And Vinoo (K. M. Mammen who is presently the Chairman and Managing Director of MRF Ltd.), Meera (wife of Ravi, Mrs. Meera Mammen, who looks after the real Human relations of MRF Ltd. staff and workers), and Arun (Arun Mammen, who is the Joint Managing Director of MRF Ltd.), who were the organisers of this event should be proud that, if they want they can bring together the family in a spirit of their grandfather. Although Annikki and I will not be here to partake in such events, as was expressed by Vinoo’s wife, Ambika, they need such events where family can be family.
I remember my family home in Mumbai and Bangalore, and finally in Chennai, was the meeting point of many generations, spurred by my mother. I hoped that a lesson was learned and understood that without family unity, no one would have been where they are today.
