Postage stamp of Padma Shri K. M. Mathew
On Sunday morning, I woke up and received information from many sources, relatives and friends, the sad news of the passing of Mr. K. M. Mathew, (Mathukuttychayan), one of the two younger brothers of my late mother. (The youngest, Mr. K. M. Mammon Mappillai (Kochappachen), the late Chairman and Managing Director of MRF Ltd. passed away in 2003.)
Many people who read my blog took the trouble to send condolences on the passing of man who, with his three amazingly brilliant sons, changed the face of Malayalam journalism over the course of the 55 years he was associated with the newspaper at the grass roots level.
There are many very personal stories I could share with you about this outstanding human being, to show you how much of an ordinary lovable man he was. Some of them are already on the blog. As I devote this entry to his memory, I do repeat some of them as a tribute.
I owe much to this human being. He was the one who taught me how to relax and expanded my world when I was just a naughty and mischievous little boy entering my teens. At the double wedding of two of my cousins in Madras in 1956 or 1957, I was making a terrible nuisance of myself when everyone was trying to get an afternoon nap.
Mathukuttychayan enticingly called me to where he was lying down and told me he would teach me some magic.
He asked me to lie down next to him. In the most interesting series of soothing words he asked me to tense my toes very tight. Then he asked me to let them loose. I repeated this a few times. He urged and coaxed me to repeat this process with all my main muscles. Before I realised it I was in a deep sleep, obviously to the relief of all the others in that house!
This technique, he later told me, would make me outstanding as I could get more done in my life than any other human being. My success as a power-house of energy today at the age of 67 is due entirely to this technique. I can drop into deep sleep at the drop of a hat and wake up in 10 minutes, fully relaxed and able to go that extra distance to complete whatever lies before me.
Whenever I do the marathon driving trips, like the one to Amsterdam earlier this year, during the 4500 km 2 day up and down drive, I stopped at a few lay-bys and napped for just 5 to 10 minutes, whenever I felt tired, which made it possible for me to reach back to Oulu in one piece and still raring to do another 4500 km!
Mathukuttychayan was a great teaser in the nicest possible way.
When I appeared at my sister, Naiini's wedding in Kottayam in 1959, wearing the newly released Hawai chappal, not seen anywhere but in Bombay, he was greatly intrigued by this rubbery contraption on my feet. He tried it on and found it most relaxing. So he started to tease me in a manner that I would hand over my prized possession to him.
I thought for a time that he was going to cross the line, but he kept his humour, assisted by my father, at a level that had me in splits of laughter, till finally, before I left back for Bombay, as I had my final Senior Cambridge exams just around the corner, I gave him my white blue strap Hawai Chappals, more in jest than as a gift. I teased him about this for several years. He loved that little joke between us!
When we went to Bombay in 1954, Mathukuttychayan was living in Byculla with his wife and their three children, Rajen, Thambi and little baby 3 year old Chacko (Daughter Thangam was born after they shifted from Mumbai to Kottayam in 1955).
Mathukuttychayan used to drop into see his sister almost every single evening. He loved her and depended on her for advice, although there was just two years separating them in ages.
When he was called to return to Kottayam to aid his eldest brother, the late Mr. K. M. Cherian (Chetpetappachen), who was running the newspaper after the death of my grandfather, it was a big blow as he had got used to Bombay life and especially the early evening in our home where my mom would give a shot of whiskey! (I do not know where she acquired the stuff as there was prohibition in Bombay during that time!)
The only evening he would not turn up was on Saturday.
On Sunday afternoon, all of us (including elder brother Mr. K. M. Philip, Peelukuttychayan, and his family, cousin Susykochamma and her husband (Mr. T. Thomas), would all drive as a family to Juhu Beach to enjoy delicacies mixed with sand on the beach, a swim and a lot of laughter.
It was a truly amazing time as it helped me in particular forget my great life in Bangalore and learn to enjoy the big city of Bombay.
We kids used to love his presence as he always came through the door with a great big smile on his face.
Later, whenever he came to Bombay on work from Kottayam, he used to stay at our house. He used to share the bedroom with me. He always checked whether I used his technique to relax. I was so adept at it by then that when I got up in the morning, I was usually an hour ahead of him and rushing to read the newspaper before him and complete the crossword before my father got a chance to do it.
His eldest son, Rajen, who was just a year younger to me has been the closest of all my cousins, getting into all sorts of mischief together, many of which have been described in blog entries. I owe my Presidentship of the JCR in St. Stephen’s College to the untiring efforts of him and his crazy gan of friends.
His two other sons, Thambi and Chacko, were also very close to us as the years rolled by.
All of them, including their sister Thangam, are shrouded in the love and affection that both their parents showed to the rest of the world.
Although we did not visit Kottayam with the regularity as when my grandfather was alive, every visit subsequently was such that we stayed at Mathukuttychayan’s house.
On one such visit, Annammakochamma was away. She had left Mathukuttychayan in charge of looking after us. He ordered the servants to prepare what he considered the finest meal he could serve up for our family. The table was laid out traditional Kerala style. The goodies arrived. We all tucked in, using our fingers, but one of the kids asked for a "fork".
There was a perplexed look on the faces of the servant, as the request for a fork was repeated.
The servant approached Mathukuttychayan and said something to him. He too was quite disturbed and apologized to me that he had ordered mutton, chicken, beef and fish to be served but did not know that we liked "pork".
When he caught the joke, he was rolling in raucous laughter, as were the servants!
The only time we crossed swords was on a matter of etiquette. He sent me a letter discussing many personal and completely private matters. I was greatly disturbed that this letter had been dictated to and typed by his personal secretary. In my reply I told him off. He sent a hand written personal note, which he later told me that he had gone to the post office by hmself to post it, apologising for his indiscretion.
On our last visit to Kottayam in 2009for his grandson's wedding, on the very first evening, before going to the wedding house for the family dinner, Annikki, Mika and I went directly to Mathukuttychayan's home on Mount Wardha. We had to wait a few minutes before we met him in his home office as he was having a bath. He was most apologetic about having kept us waiting.
He talked to us about all our children and how he was so happy that our daughter, Joanna, and her three children had come to see him in late summer. Especially touching was his conversation with our son, Mika, who broke all his personal rules and taboos of many years, and hugged his granduncle.
We spent almostan hour with him and had it not been for the dinner we would have spent more time with him.
I promised to visit him again before we left as he had said that he may not find it possible to be at the wedding.
But. on the wedding day, at the prayer ceremony, before the groom set out for the church, we found that he had made it possible to be there despite the great suffering he was going through.
He was photographed with all his family and especially insisted on taking a photograph with Annikki, Mika and me.
The day we were leaving Kottayam, I visited him in the office where he was just getting ready to be in the 10 am editorial meeting. At the age of 93 his mind was so sharp.
As Annikki was suffering from a cold she opted not to go in to see him as she was afraid she would pass on the infection. He was unhappy at not being able to say goodbye to her but was happy that both Mika and I had stopped just to say goodbye. Both of us knew that we would not see each other again and there were tears swelling in my eyes as we bade him farewell.
In an act so typical of him, he handed me an envelope as a gift. He had done the same when he was in Delhi to say goodbye to us in 1984. He told me as I left that anything I wanted was at my command. That was his way of showing his love for his sister's son and his wife.
This media mogul was a humble family man who loved his entire extended family and cared for them.
Our heart bleeds for this wonderful personality. He cared little for the various titles he had been awarded and powerful positions he had held, and hardly ever spoke of them.
His inner heart can be seen in the touching book he wrote about his wife after she left for her heavenly abode.
The deep loving and generous character of this individual has rubbed off on all his children.
I mourn you, dearest Mathukuttychayan. May your soul rest in peace.
